INTERVIEW: Eco-Sexuality of Tantra with Israeli Relationship Coaches and Couple, Ben and Efrat (part 1)

In that pure moment of orgasm, nobody thinks of their utility bills,” jokes relationship experts and Tantra practitioners, Ben and Efrat, world-renowed teachers who reside in Israel.

A two part series on sustaining love with sacred sexuality

Ben and Efrat are world-renowned relationship coaches who incorporate a deep knowledge of tantra in their practice with couples, individuals and small groups. Perhaps best known to non-practitioners of sacred sexuality as the relationship experts on a 2010 episode of the Israel version of The Bachelor, Ben and Efrat have created a new series of at-home CD based lessons of love: Tantra Nights to Remember: Guided Intimate Evenings for Couples.

Intrigued by their emphasis on “Touching love through loving touch,” I recently asked them to share their philosophies with the readers of In particular we explored the connection to the newest philosophical expression of love – eco-sexuality – with one of the world’s oldest: Tantra. Below is part One of our two part series on sustaining love with sacred sexuality. Tantra is an ancient practice that intuitively seems connected to the values of sustainability and caring for oneself, one’s beloved and the planet. In your opinion, how is Tantra ‘eco-friendly’ and eco-sexy?

Ben and Efrat: When viewing the world through the Tantric spectacles, we believe Tantra is one of the most eco-friendly principle based systems. The idea of eco-* came into life when scientists began to realize in the early phase of the previous century that natural systems are not separate, but are inter-related with each other. The emergence of the ecological idea was slow at first, because it relied on intellectual concepts that required research based evidence.

Relatively speaking, the evolutionary process of the scientific basis for ecology was very slow. It is only in recent decades that quantum physics reveals an eco-based universe in levels, which are far deeper than the whole organism level. Please explain the Tantric Principle of One, and how it relates to the principle of sustainability.

Ben and Efrat: Tantra is based on the idea of a total eco-system. The most elementary concept of Tantra is the principle of the one, which determines that the creator and the creation are one in all aspects, including the physical aspect.  If the creator is sacred and all is one, then everything must be sacred or the principle of the one is broken and duality is introduced.

If one lives by Tantric principles, one understands the eternal nature of the ever-expanding creation. One of the many meanings of the word Tantra is “expansion”. In Tantra’s view, we are eternal, sustainable beings who keep coming on and off the Samsara – the everlasting wheel of life and reincarnation.

For a Tantrika (one who practices Tantra as a holistic set of principles for life) if you harm a flower, you have harmed the entire Universe.

Tantra is a life of total freedom. Freedom is one of the highest values for Tantra, because without freedom there is no expansion.  Practicing total freedom while avoiding any harm to the environment is the ultimate dream of any eco-supporting person. Tantra has a very ‘sexy’ reputation in many minds. Please comment on the sexual aspects of Tantra, including the experience of orgasm, and how these might relate to eco-sexuality.

Ben and Efrat: Tantric sexuality has many aspects. The ideas are derived from the principle of the one. Again, we are looking at the eternal desire to reach enlightenment (and get off the wheel of Samsara).

The most basic observation is that throughout a very deep and loving bonding between two persons, one’s partner becomes a mirror to one’s inner or higher self. Since all is one, that is also a mirror to the divine and to the entire Universe. Hence, Tantric sexuality is an open gate, a shortcut to obtaining enlightenment.  In other words, it is a manner of binding and uniting with the entire Universe.
What can be more eco-sexy than that?

The idea behind Tantric view on orgasm is not very far from that either. It has been observed that the precise, pure moment of orgasm, is actually a deep meditative moment. It is a moment in which one is in total connection with the divine energy and the entire Universe.

We jokingly claim that in that pure moment of orgasm, nobody thinks of their utility bills.

If this is so, then extending the moment of orgasm will extend the period of time of total connection with the divine. This is the ground for establishing methods for extending the energetic-spiritual phase of orgasm to as much as possible. It is also the source for the myth, which is widespread in the Western world, that Tantra equals a method for avoiding premature ejaculation.

So again, Tantric sexuality is all about sustaining the ability to be in a total connection with the entire eco system, which is actually the divine itself.

For more information about Ben and Efrat and their program, Tantra Nights to Remember, please visit the website and let them know that you read about them at

More eco-sexuality news:

Sex Up Sustainability: Five Ways to Make Love to the Planet in 2011

The Ecology of Sustainable Love

Making Love with the Five Percent Rule

Tinamarie is a regular contributor to You can follow her on @ModernLoveMuse and facebook. She blogs at Photo credit: Ben and Efrat

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One thought on “INTERVIEW: Eco-Sexuality of Tantra with Israeli Relationship Coaches and Couple, Ben and Efrat (part 1)”

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