Halal Or Not, McDonald's Food Won't Decompose Faster Than Plastic Bags

mcdonald's sign halalNew disturbing news about the McDonald restaurant chains that have found themselves in practically every Middle Eastern country except for Syria and Iran: With plans to set up a worldwide composting program, the Mc-company canned its plans after learning that its food scraps simply will not decompose. Well, not for the next 500 or 1,000 years at least.

This fact was confirmed by scientists, and reported on the environment news site Grist. According to reports, not a single item on the Mickie D’s menu is disposable.

Scary or what?

If that plan would have worked, McDonald’s could have kept more than 1.5 billions tons of food from landfills every month, in their bright green composting bins.

Some smart and savvy scientists at the University of California-Berkeley found out though, that none of the McDonald’s food (fries, burgers and pies) would actually decompose over the next 500 years, or even 1,000 – the lifespan of a plastic bag.

Grist put in a call and reports:

“To be honest, this food is better off in a landfill.” said lead researcher Donald MacGregor, from the University of California-Berkeley, on a press call early this morning. “It would get in the way of perfectly good compostable materials. Additionally, gardeners disliked the highly acidic leaching of the non-composting Big Macs in field tests.”

Now incineration and outer-atmospheric storage is on their agenda. Can we suggest that scientists find a catalyst to decompose it faster, or even better suggest a way to ban the stuff forever. I have fallen prey to a (kosher non-cheese) Big Mac attack now and again, but would probably be a better (and healthier) person if no McDonald’s were in sight. Food pollution for your body and the environment.

Greenpeace, alas, finds the news to be “extremely disturbing.”

::Grist

More food news from the Middle East
Colon Cancer Increase in Cairo Linked to fast Food
Jeddah Gets Fusion Organic Pizza
Israel’s Premiere Slow Food Chef Moshe Basson

Image via freakingnews

Update: this is an April Fool’s joke. Grist just wrote us.

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13 thoughts on “Halal Or Not, McDonald's Food Won't Decompose Faster Than Plastic Bags”

  1. TInamarie,It was a joke. An April Fool's joke. Honestly, I didn't know when writing it because I didn't follow Grist's links. But they wrote to Green Prophet and called it an April Fool's prank. Go back in line for the fries.

  2. Just plain gross. If I takes that long for these leftovers to decompose in the earth, I'm horrified by what it is doing to our bodies. I LOVE micky dee fries as we called them when I was young, but I've got a bad taste in my mouth now. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.

  3. Karin,The ultimate formula for world peace (and peace in all countires) is Equality for Women and Leadership by Women in All Nations. Until then, we should utilize corporate globalization to our benefit.The goal is that all manufactured goods can/will be reused, up-cycled or composted and that all organic waste is composted.

  4. Alex, you've just proposed the ultimate formula for world peace. Nice one.

  5. I read on Twitter that they were.

  6. Funny article – made me smile. There are issues of great importance in the McD story. The most immediate of course are how production of McD food effects the environment/nature (some contend that cattle grazing in tropical regions for McD meat is associated with deforestation, others point to inhuman and toxic conditions at CAFOs) and is detrimental to human health and culture (obesity in the US…read Michael Pollan's “Omnivore's Dilemma” or “In Defense of Food”). The value of the food and the “green” content of fast food was dealt quite well by The Onion http://www.theonion.com/video/taco-bells-new-gr… . NTL, if the McD theory of World Peace is true (“two countries with McD's will not fight each other in a war”) then I hope the arches will be blessed by Sunni and Shiite clerics and opened in Syria, Iran and Palestine (Gaza and West Bank) as soon as possible!

  7. It's all one big joke… April Fool's.

  8. Or maybe I just need to lighten up … maybe this prank will spur McDonald's into composting.

  9. Apparently, Grist was pulling all of our legs. It's an April Fool's joke. Moral of the story: trust nothing published on that day. I wonder if McDonald's will be laughing about this.

  10. I think the April fool's stories are becoming *more* than a little irresponsible.

  11. L Stein says:

    Excuse me, but seriously? 1.5 Billion tons of food waste every month? I'm no defender of McDonald's, but that number is complete bullshit. The number may have relevance in another context (i.e. every year, or every 10 years), but stated as it is, I call bullshit.

  12. Tyler says:

    FYI, click the links on the original Grist story…April Fools!

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